A lot of really amazing things have come out of my own boobie journey (Eden Knows Implants for one). It’s been a journey of knowledge and self-expression and, at times, pure comedy!
If right now you’re setting off on your boobie journey and you’re imagining the positive changes ahead of you I expect some of these little anecdotes will tickle you just as much as they do the post-op crew who will be holding their hands up to at least one of these gems.
The Boob Farts
Say what!? A boob fart??
Give it 24-48 hours after your breast implants surgery and you may just hear (but most people say they feel it more as a sensation) your boobs gurgling.
The process of breast surgery can result in trapped air between your implant and the pocket, and the movement of this air as your breast implants settle (for some) can sound a little um... embarrassing.
It’s all perfectly normal.
Trust me, you’ll be cracking up if you hear your boobs rumbling away.
The Public Self Boob Grab
That’s you checking your own boobs. You know, just to check they’re still there. Or, just checking them!
I find when I’m driving in the car and I’m stuck in traffic that my hands gravitate to the boob grab. I’ve given a few motorists more than an eye full on more than one occasion!
It’s a journey of self-realization and it’s perfectly natural to be just a little bit fascinated with your new self after breast surgery.
Being just a bit self-boob-grabby can also give you some perspective on the process of your implant softening, so grab away!
Staring... At Yourself
Yep, if you had to keep eye contact with yourself you’d be chastised for not doing so because your eyes keep looking south down the crevasse that is now your bountiful cleavage.
I had a minor case of neck strain after my first augmentation (getting comfy sleeping sitting up isn't easy). Once I’d got past the post-op body stiffness I was more than a little bit in awe of the view as I looked down at my chest.
There’s no getting over the aesthetics of breasts. They are revered in art (some classical, some not so much) and pretty much as I had hoped I was able to appreciate and sought great satisfaction from my new body self.
There's far too much body shaming going on these days. Be proud... stare at yourself.
Ouch... I Didn’t See That Doorframe
I’m saying this with a note of caution so you don’t actually injure yourself.
In the early days after breast implant surgery you’ll be on high alert to ensure your healing isn’t impeded. During this time, for me, door frames were my nemesis.
It’s quite funny if you think about it but it’s not funny when you step boob-first into a hard surface. Ouch!
You’ll need to be prepared to tred a little bit carefully post-op. You’ll have to re-learn your body perspective.
Think of it as growing your whiskers (like cats), you’ve just got to take it slow as you adjust to your new longer whiskers (i.e. bigger chest).
Doing A Shallow Hal
That’s not my bra! That IS my bra??
Perspective learning also comes in the form of the size of your new bras (especially if you’ve gone from an A to a D+).
Cue a quizzical Shallow Hal moment one day (trust me, it will happen) when you drop your bra to the floor and you look down and take in how big it looks off.
Go on... you know you want to... try that bra on your head!
Crying Happy Tears
You might not appreciate what impact breast surgery will have on you and how you view yourself.
My happy tears flew with abandonment when I realized I had a female outline through clothes without a super-padded bra on (in fact, this happened for the first time when I had no bra on under a t-shirt).
It’s when you realize how good you feel. Be prepared to shed some of those “I couldn’t be happier” tears.
There are many things I wasn’t expecting when I started my own boobie journey. It’s an experience that’s been positive in many ways. I’ve looked inwards at my sense of self and I’ve laughed outwardly at some very funny experiences.
One final word... if you’re in the early days post-op you’ll need to hold on to your boobs if you want to laugh (or sneeze)... Just trust me on that one :)